I am terribly sorry that I haven't been making my regular rounds to my SIRs.  I DO go and read random people off of my list when I get a free second, I TRY to comment if I can, but usually I can't.  Poor Cerveza, every time I start to comment on her blog I get pulled away and don't return for hours, when I do return I find a half written comment and I can't finish it so I just scrap it.  I will try to get around more, but it is midterm and well, busy is really a crappy word to describe it.  Not to mention that DH just got a promotion and he now has 100 times the work he did before, so he's absolutely no help.  He's been working from home since Tuesday and if I have to corral my kids upstairs for one more conference call I'm going to boot his ass off the island....speaking of islands... 
 was last night, and I have to say....OMG...Robb, dear stupid, moronic, Robb...Ya know, saying, "You get on my nerves & I don't like being around you, but nothing personal."  Well, that *IS* personal, you stupid fuck.  Do people like that have really great lives because they're so stupid?  I mean, does the whole 'Ignorance is bliss' thing hold any truth?  If so, Robb is one happy little moron.  Man, wow, I can honestly say that I've now seen the stupidest person on Earth, and I've seen some doozies (I thought I had anyway)......I love Survivor, makes your life seem so much better.

So that's what's new around here....and now for your reading pleasure...

Oh! The People You'll Meet at Wal-Mart

Standing in the checkout line waiting to buy groceries, I always people watch and analyze other people's purchases.  One lady in particular caught my eye; she was older, around 55 or so and standing in the lane to my left.  She looked much older than she was though. She wore a badly stained housedress, like something a housewife from 1952 might have worn (Think ‘Lucy’).  It was a floral pattern but permanently discolored with large blotches of what I concluded were grease stains.  Over the housedress she wore a plaid blazer, quiet a colorful lady, in more ways than one. You could tell that she had some mental issues, schizophrenia or something of the sort.  It wasn’t really the colorfulness of her attire that drew my attention towards her it was her gait, the way she handled herself, it was childlike. That and the intensity of the stare she was giving that produce bag.

  She had very few things in her cart, but along the way she had picked up an empty produce bag, still folded neatly into a thin plastic rectangular strip and draped over the side of her cart. She walked to the side of her cart and retrieved the bag. She was working the plastic with great concentration, trying to find the opening. All the while making her way to the front part of her cart. She finally found where the two pieces of film met and she began to separate them while taking her final step square in front of her cart.  She then placed both hands inside the bag and with the precision of a surgeon she began to fully open the bag, little by little, making sure it was evenly open on both sides.  She then bent over into her cart and began to pick up an eggplant that was already housed in a produce bag identical to the one she was so attentively tending to.  Then she seemed to change her mind, let the eggplant drop and then threw the bag into her cart and waved it away with her hands.  She then began to return to the front of her cart.

It was then my turn to move forward in my line.  I began walking forward when I noticed that the produce bag lady had spotted me, and my 20-month-old sitting in my cart.  She lops over to the cart, taking large steps, almost like a gorilla would. Then, with her hands cupping either side of her face she exclaims, “TWO BOYS?”  I smiled and answered, “Oh yeah!”  She then proceeds to ask about Halloween and then tell me how beautiful they are and how lucky I am and just how wonderful she thinks it is that I have 2 beautiful little boys.  My husband had run to the back of the store to retrieve a last minute item when he walked up as the lady was leaving. 
”Who was that?” He asked with a hint of confusion and sheer curiosity.
”Hell, if I know, I’ll tell you in the car.” I answered as quietly as I could.

I came to the conclusion that the poor lady probably had no family of her own, so she was pleased to see the ‘All-American’ family next to her.  Being as I have my own mental problems, I wanted to take her home with us and just give her someone to love, but then I realized she wasn’t a puppy and besides, I couldn’t afford it, mentally or otherwise.

Much work to be done.  Lots of graph paper and drawing.  I can say this, they should call me 'The Turtlemama Forrestry Service' with as much paper as I'm going through...GGAAWWWDDDD!!!! 

I swear that this is true, I did NOT doctor this picture in any way (I'm not that talented) and besides, could you REALLY make this shit up?

It's a DENIM wedding dress, complete with denim bouquet 'streamers'...omg I have to go vomit now...

WARNING: This is long and will be pointless to some but I had to record it....'cause I am who I am.. ENJOY! (or don't!)

Wanna hear something cool? Sure ya do...listen! 

 About 2 weeks ago I found an air inflated 'lawn sculpture' of 4 pumpkins stacked onto each other, it's really cute and it's 8 feet tall and it just has a little fan in the bottom that inflates it and keeps it inflated until you turn it off...really cool, I think (then again I'm easily amused so....) Anyway, I noticed it on Wal-Mart's website one day looking for stupid thing or another.  Finally I go to WM yesterday and I ask about it and no one can find one.  I go to Cust Service and the lady says, "Wow, a lot of people keep asking about that thing."  They had one inflated out front, so I suppose that everyone wanted one.  Anyway, I come home and get on the website and it says that there are limited quantities and I may or may not get it.  So I think we'll I'll try my luck and I'll order it.  Then I get to the page where shipping is calculated and they want $20 to ship it...uhhh NO!  So I finally settle on the single 6 foot inflatable pumpkin that they had when I was up there (only one left too!) Well I think to myself right before dozing off to sleep and I say "Ya know I'm getting those pumpkins, I’ll go up there tomorrow and they'll have one left or I'll get the display outside, I WILL get those pumpkins, they will be MINE MINE MINE!!".......
Head to WM and do some shopping and notice in a lady's cart the ONE 6ft pumpkin left in the store...I rush over to the Halloween section and what do I find...NOTHING, no 6ft pumpkin no 8ft stack of 4 pumpkins...just one measly 4ft pumpkin and it's just a regular inflatable (plastic, not nylon fabric)....so I stand there thinking, "There has to be one around here somewhere, there IS one around here somewhere...there HAS to be!" So I look around and then for some reason I look down and what to my wandering eyes appear? But the box for the 8ft sculpture!! I'm so excited I snatch up said box and notice that it had been open, so I open it...EMPTY!! Yup, nothing in there but some string thingies and lawn stakes.  So I think "I bet that's the display outside."  And so I just continue to look up and down the aisle.  Then a VERY nice lady appears and asks if she can help me, so I explain to her that I want to 8ft pumpkins and the ONLY one they have is the display, and I want to buy it..NOW.  So she gets a manager and he says "Why not sell it? Let her have it!" HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! So what is sitting in my garage RIGHT THIS MINUTE!?!?!?! An 8ft pumpkin sculpture!!!!! WHOOOO HOOOOO!! Oh and a 4ft inflated one too hehehehehehe I LOVE Halloween and pumpkins and all that jazz!!!!!!!
I find it utterly cool that with everything working against me (none left on the internet site, none in the store, and the box that I found had been returned by a lady when she realized she bought an empty box! lol, glad she didn't ask to buy the display!) I STILL got it...I GOT IT!!! I GOT IT!!!! hehehehehehehehehehe!!! This shit NEVER happens to me, until now!! I told DH to go buy a lottery ticket

---

Last night the DH and I decided to go to Toys R Us, they are having a KICK ASS sale on board games, BOGO FREE!! hoooo hoooo! So, we decide to kill some time before dinner, dress the kids and head out to buy Scrabble, and Trivial Pursuit.  Well it's been raining ALL day here and earlier in the day I was teaching BT how to operate the umbrella (pushbutton thingy on the handle) well he tells us as we're heading to the garage that he wants to use the umbrella and I say sure.  He uses the umbrella to the car (a whole 10 steps) then when we finally get to TRU he has to use it again.  Well he hasn’t gotten the whole timing, don't close it or open it around people thing.  So he steps just inside the door and there were 2 college guys RIGHT behind him and he just stops and hits the button to close the umbrella.....shooting a nice spray of rainwater all over the college guy behind him (the second guy was shielded by the first).  Both guys are cracking up laughing and I'm REALLY trying to not bust a gut laughing my ass off and I'm trying to apologize to wet-boy, he's laughing his ass off also (THANK GAWD!) and both the guys blew it off, course the friend kept saying "Dude that was FUNNY!" ROFL  It was absolutely hilarious and I'm sure that you had to be there....And thanks to those guys for understanding that my kid is just a kid and didn't mean to...most 30-somethings that I meet wouldn't have been so nice.

Ya know, I love my kids, I have a great husband, and my schooling is going rather well.  I really can't complain too much.  But me being me, I *must* complain about SOMETHING so this is it....I read blogs from first time moms and they are still in the whole romantic stage of motherhood, where their precious baby is the center of the world and the love is just over-flowing. I have noticed that girl moms have this moreso than boy moms.  So everytime I read a blog by a first-time girly mom, I get a little green, not ill-green, envy-green, because boys just aren't like that, no matter how hard their mother tries to find that sort of bond.  The bond that boy moms have with their offspring is just weird, it's love and it's real......really weird.  So this is for all you 'romantics' out there..

My boys will NOT listen to me they go off and do something, well, honestly, just plain stupid, all the time.  I know that kids don't have the common sense yet like some adults have but still...When your mother is standing 3 ft from you and you're running down the concrete driveway and she's yelling "DON'T RUN!" I wouldn't run, call me crazy but your head and her hand are awfully close and if she happens to stick that thing out, it'll hurt.  So why do my boys just keep on runnin'? I mean they don't even pay me any attention.  BT is the worst, we'll say (while pointing) "Over there, BT, that way." And he heads the other way....WHY??????????  Then I was talking to a friend (who also happens to have 2 boys the same age difference as mine) and she said what I've been thinking, our children are stupid.  Not like mentally retarded or anything but they are men and men are stupid and I must accept that.  I keep fighting it, I know.  But now, well now, I need to just realize that all these moms with little girls and their extra special long romantic stages will soon have to deal with puberty, and periods and boys, my boys....be afraid girly moms, be VERY afraid....I swear that it isn't the mother's fault, they're just male and well, they're stupid, sometimes...

FOLLOW-UP:

No one is mad at me.  There were so many people there anyway that they probably didn't notice me .  Anyway, I'll send her a gift but only because it is something that NO ONE will buy her and she'd NEVER buy herself, but she'll want it oh yeah she'll want it .  The only reason why I never just gave her my number (come to think of it maybe I did give it to her once...yep, think so) but if I didn't it was usually because we were out somewhere with no pen and we were drinkin' so...

Now with the subject of freaky friends let me tell you about all the other 'moms' that I have met from the internet......Now you'll see why I have no friends...

1. 19yr old stripper with 2 children that preached breast feeding while SMOKING and nursing her newborn (she was preaching about how formula is deadly, but umm that nocotine is PERFECTLY FINE..uh huh SUUURRREEEE).  The best part about her was that she told me that she and her DH had this big nice house, yup it was big if you consider a double wide with NO furniture big and nice, well maybe compared to a cardboard box.....BUT then there is the whole 2 kid thing.  She got preggo at 16 but she had a boy so she gave that one to her mom then found a guy that would get her preggo again (this time hopefully it'll be a girl, if not mama will take it).  She had her girl, who has smoked since conception.....

2. Mom my age with 2 kids, the oldest is her brother's kid who was just abandonded at the court house one day (there was some sort of custody thing and mom2 was holding the baby and her brother walked by her and said "you take him I'll sign my rights away next week.").  She would bring her children over, let them destroy BT's room but only after they walked through the door complaining that they were hungry then expecting ME to make ALL of them lunch...yup, that was a keeper.

3. Nice lady, little older than me but she's still a little wierd, when her daughter was first born she just drove around our county and the other 3 around it looking for parks, she knows EVERY park there is to know...it's sort of cool.  And she is ALWAYS taking her kids somewhere, a festival the park SOMETHING....she's always running around somewhere, sort of weird to me but not that bad.  And she doesn't have many friends just herself and her kids...but then again her children rule the roost over there....interesting, I still talk to her on very seldom occasions.

4. CRAZY chick, who reads my blog so I won't tell you how cracked out this chick is..  Ok, she isn't cracked out but she's funny as hell

Those are the ones I can remember.....crazy ain't it?  There are more but I can't really remember, I'm trying to block those horrible images, thanks.

Ok, I'm not Ms. Manners or anything but I have something bugging me and I need feedback on it.

I was invited to a baby shower.  It was being thrown for someone whom I used to hang out with a lot we'll call her A), now we don't really talk but I still like her.  When we were seeing each other once a week or so I kept telling her to get my number from my cousin (who introduced us) and she said that she would but then she never did.  She did, however, come to MY baby shower that my cousin threw.  Granted I made sure to have the shower in her neck of the woods (1+hr away from where I live).  Wow, there is a LOT to this so it might get a little lenghty....

Ok, my cousin (actually DH's cousin, but doesn't matter really), lives 1.3 hrs north of here, I used to go up there about once a week on the weekends when DH would go fishing and my mom would have my oldest (LT wasn't born yet).  I got her to know her friends and we all hung out together.  Well I got preggo with LT and my cousin wanted to throw me a baby shower, being as I didn't have many friends other than 'hers' I invited everyone and I made sure to hold the shower up there where they all lived.  I did invite some people that lived down here (family and one friend).  Well no one showed up except C (cousin) and A and her DH (we'll call him H), then of course my DH.  Well I thanked them, of course and I was a little disappointed that no one else showed up but hey, them's the breaks I guess, right?  Besides, I'm not sure when C sent out the invitations either, I had to keep reminding her that these people needed 2 weeks noticed, MINIMUM.

So on with the story......A and I have a LOT in common and I kept telling her to get my phone # from C and call me.  She always said that she would yet she never did.  Well then, C tells me that A is finally pregnant, YAY! I was really happy for her but hell, she'd been pregnant for 4 months and no one had told me (I don't talk to C very much either).  So then C tells me that she's going to throw A a baby shower, and of course I was invited (double YAY!) well.......I hear nothing about anything, for MONTHS...that is until this past Thursday. 
 I open the mailbox and C has sent me something so I open it....it's an invitation to A's baby shower.  Well I put it off to the side thinking that it's a week or so away, then I grab it later on and check the date, it's for SATURDAY, yeah, like THIS Saturday.  Well DH and I had a ton of things to do we're fixing up the house.  Besides who in their right fucking mind sends out an invitation TWO DAYS in advance???????????  So I realized that I got NO notice and I tell DH 'Well I don't know what I'm going to do."  Then I notice the time....get this folks, 8pm!!! And it's at a Mexican Restaraunt somewhere in town at 8pm (NIGHTTIME!).  Well let's see that would mean that I had to leave here no later than 6:45 but probably 6:15 so that I can find the place.  Then I wouldn't get home until some ungodly hour early the next morning.  Plus I'd be drinking, probably, then have to drive back.  Not a good idea.
Then I get home Thursday night from my sis's and DH says that C IM'd him and basically laid a guilt trip on him about how A was the only one at my baby shower and the least I could do was show up and that A *REALLY* wanted me there (why hadn't she called me in the past 2.5 years then, oh wait she's NEVER called me).  So then I tell DH "Well ya know, I bet she sent the invites out later because everyone else knew about the shower, except me of course, but I should just rearrange my schedule for it anyway, nothing's more important than someone who has never called me.  So I had to call C and tell her that I couldn't make it because DH had to work, well I call and of course she doesn't answer and I leave voicemail telling her to give me A's address so that I can send the gift (that I had to run out and buy rather quickly, thankfully we re-financed when we did or I'd be broke).  Well she hasn't called me back and I'm sure that she's pissed at me along with A.  Thing is that if they ARE pissed, they have NO REASON to be.  I mean they didn't give me ANY noitce who says that I wasn't planning on doing something else this weekend?  The giult trip that was thrown onto DH pissed me off more than anything.  He told her that he couldn't speak for me that she'd have to call me herself (which she RARELY does, even when she's coming to visit, she'll message DH on the computer then it's a whole up in the air thing of "Well I *might* come over around maybe 8pm but might be 7" So we have to sit around until 5 or so (sometimes 7) when she finally DOES call and says she won't be making it.

So the deal is, I'm invited to a baby shower where the guest of honor REALLY REALLY REALLY wants me to come, yet this chick has NEVER tried on her own to contact me or form any sort of realtionship.  Now they are all probably pissed at me for not being able to come even though I was given a whole 48 hours notice (and no she couldn't have sent the invitation a few days earlier it takes MAYBE 2 days to get mail from there).....but even if the mail DID take a little longer, she should have given me 2 weeks minimum.  But no one thought about that and now I get ostracized for it...well not really ostracized because I don't hang around them ANYWAY! GAWD! I really care too much about how others percieve me and this is just bugging me, not as much as I thought it would but it's a little unnerving to think that there is a whole gaggle of people that are probably bashing my name as I type this...

So, I'm off to make Cuervo margaritas and watch HGTV....uuggghhh...THIS, THIS is why I don't like to have too many friends, or the one[s] I do have are/is VERY low maintance (you know who you are, out there reading this behind my back actin' all sly! )

Wastin' away again in Margaritaville........

No appliances are mentioned below, really!

So I was critiqued in my English class.  The instructor was the first one and he said wonderful great things about my writing and said the only thing he could see improvement in is that I need more adjectives, ok sure....THEN...oh THEN....I get this,
"My interest was peaked threw out most of the story and I could definitely see the realism between the two sisters and the brother Randy"
Seriously, this is how it was presented to me....HONEST!!  I told you that would happen, did I not?!  GAWD!!!!!!!  Then I got a few others basically just trying to find things wrong with it...(no I'm *not* tooting my own horn, these people really had to pull this from far far far up their asses.) One said that the pace of the story was off.  Saying it went too fast at some parts then really slow at others...hmmmm ok.  Last time I read a novel or any story, you had fast parts then slow parts, like a roller coaster but hey, who am I to judge, right?

Then there is the next story that the class has to critique, and trying NOT to sound so full of myself that I'll explode everywhere, but........I really feel sorry for this guy's coming after mine.  It's bad, I mean REALLY bad.  The grammar is TERRIBLE, spelling, OMG don't even get me started.  He writes probable for probably.  And it is just an all around BAD BAD BAD story.  Now I get to figure out a way to critique it without hurting his feelings....

Lesson for the day...

To- 'We are going to her house.'

Two- 'I am taking two people to her house.'

Too- 'I am going too.' (aka, also)

Thank You.

hehehehehehehehehehe  I got the stove today and couldn't be happier, well I could but that would require a WHOLE LOTTA MONEY...soooo I'm thrilled beyond belief, how's that?  We went to Home Depot and then to the grocery store and I now have a fully stocked freezer (no way in hell I could stock the fridge, I have some weird disorder..I can't keep food laying around long, I'll throw it out, after 5 mins).  The fridge part is well stocked with bottled water, and whole wheat bread   Anyway, this is what we got at HomeDepot.....

Pretty huh?  I thought so and it replaces a rather U.G.L.Y. 1992 light fixture that screamed "Old Floridian Lady"  so that is now about to be a thing of the past (DH is working on it as we speak)...YAY!

Well, I'm off....I'll spare you the vent about men and being stupid and how my DH is a grocery dick......He's not going shoppin' with me again.....*sigh*