June 28, 2003
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Well the FIL update is that he's home from the hospital, has hospice care and decided to stop fighting and just die peacfully in his home. I can't blame him, cancer is a horrible thing to deal with and I can understand why someone would want to just give up and die...when it's time, it's time...Some people know it.
The DH has decided not to go back down there to see his dad, but he's calling down there as much as he can (my phone bill will be OUTRAGEOUS this month). I'm just trying to absorb myself into house hunting and to finding the perfect place to live for the rest of my life. Every once in a while though, I start thinking about the funeral and start making arrangements for the kids. Hoping that my mom could watch them while we're down there. I really don't want to go, but I know that I need to be there for The DH. I hate funerals, people don't handle death very well and I hate being in those situations. I wish we just sort of took the dead on a boat said some words and threw 'em over the side....be easier on all of us. But, we have to bury them in big pretty boxes that no one will see, and have some sort of 'civil' ceremony and all sorts of stupid shit....And, I have to wear a dress. I don't even own a dress.
Ok, LT wants me to read to him, so I must go...I'll be back later on, hopefully Monday with some COOL scanner stories...it's the weekend you know!
Comments (3)
One of my grandmothers died when I was 11, the other when I was 18. In both cases, I remember seeing them dead in their coffins at the wake. I remember thinking, very clearly, that my grandmother is no longer in that body. It's just a body, with nothing in it. I couldn't understand why someone would cry over the body, or kiss the body, or touch the hand. I touched one hand, just because someone else did it, and I wondered why (probably when I was 11). In that way, it educated me about life and death. I fear death because of what I would leave behind (my kids) but not death in and of itself.
I couldn't agree more with what you are saying... i feel funerals should not be of mourning.. they should be of celebration of being privileged to know such a wonderful person... I disagree w/ the prices put on the relatives to bury the body.. which is why i would do everything in my power... to be cremated and thrown to the ocean waters and be a sweet memory in the minds of those who loved me. Funerals, nowadays, are robbery of people who are suffering and led to believe they are doing the best for a passed loved one,, thats just bullshit. Yup we are just flesh but its the soul that live in the hearts and minds right?!!!
I agree with Leafylady--same experience when my grandmother died. I still get upset at the thought of not having the person around anymore, but I have confidence that they've gone on to other adventures.
My brother had terminal cancer and chose not to do chemotherapy since he was told that he could probably have several more months but would be sick from the chemo. He ended up outliving all the estimates and his quality of life was only really bad towards the end (like the last couple of months). Hopefully your fil will pass swiftly and painlessly when his time comes. Your family will be in my thoughts. 
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