New Year is starting out with a BIG BANG!

So, last night I decide that for simple shits and giggles I should go check and see if my grades have come in yet.  So I login and click on 'transcript' and what do I see? Why I see that I have 6.00 credits and that my cummulative GPA is............

4.00
BAY-BEEE!

Happy Christ on a stick, I'm perfect!! Then again, we all knew that didn't we?

I have straight A's and a 4 point oh! Sweet mother of everything holy!! I'm the best fucking design student known to MAN! Well in my own little world anyway!

"Those who contemplate the beauty of the earth find reserves of strength that will endure as long as life lasts.  There is something infinitely healing in the repeated refrains of nature- the assurance that dawn comes after night, and spring after winter."
-Rachel Carson

What I learned in 2002

I learned that siblings can get along and like each other ("Mama, you know who my best friend is?....LT, he's my best friend.")

I learned that thinking outside of the box is a wonderful and liberating thing to do.

I learned that my children know a lot more about life than I ever realized, I like learning from my children.

I learned that no matter how mean or nasty of a bitch I am, my DH will always be there for me.

I learned that online journalling is a great, cheap way to sort out your thoughts.

I learned that no matter how stupid your blog gets someone will read it and let you know that they still like you.

I learned that I'm actually more intelligent than I originally thought.

I learned that I do have talents in the art field.

I learned that I can write and have people actually want to read it, and like it.

I learned what it feels like to make A's in school.

I learned the joy of photography, and doing it well.

I learned the precise art of make good web graphics.

I learned that going back to the ocean for just a few hours can clear your head for weeks.

I learned that people sometimes aren't who they seem, they're better.

I learned that if you put positive energy towards something, it will come to you.

And Finally;

I learned that I can find true friends and really great people in the real world!  We love you guys, B!!!!

I am grateful for all my readers and fellow Xangans.  Joining Xanga was the best thing for me, thanks sis! 
I hope everyone has a happy, healthy, hopeful New Year! 
I will be back soon with better content, I hope.

Money, makes my head go 'round

I've always been into money, meaning that I've always liked it in one form or another.  I've never really paid much attention to how much comes in or how much goes out.  That is, until I became this adult thing that people believe me to be.  Now, I need money, I want money, and all the cool things that go along with it.  And truthfully, I HATE this feeling of wanting money.  It's not really the money that I want so much as the stability that goes along with it.  Being a  bipolar manic depressive you have ups and downs and anything stable in your life is coveted.  So I keep thinking that if my DH could just make so much $ a year we'd be fine.  And truthfully, we would be fine.  Hell, we're sort of fine right now.  We get a little low on the funds come the week of payday (then again, unless you're bringing in a ton o' cash almost everyone gets a little low during payweek).  I just wish that we had money, or were able to PUT money into savings and KEEP it there.  No one ever told me that owning a house would drain me of every penny that I would ever want to save in my entire life.  This house needs EVERYTHING replaced and that costs money, LOTS of money, lots of money that I don't really have. 
I really think that this all has to do with me and the season, I get all crappy come Jan-Feb.  Then Mar things warm up and I start needing/looking for a change...only this year I need/want a change now..I'm thinking, installing a new floor in the kitchen and dining room is a good idea.  But then what?? New draperies are looking better and better and might just be UPS'd to my house next week, or not, I need to save up for cabinets throughout the house...and carpet, and a new screened porch and a paved patio below that and then furniture and fixtures to go on the porch and the patio and then we need a fence and bedroom furniture and I need a bigger house to house all my children and guppies but that costs money, money I don't have right now, besides our house wouldn't sell because the market in GA, S U C K S!!!

I was just surfing around websites and came upon a whole slew of different blogs talking and discussing the power of money and our government.  Some I didn't agree with while others I did, I don't have the links but I sure wish that I did, they were quite interesting to say the least.
I have been telling myself that keeping up with the Jones' is not what I want to do with my life.  After reading an article in House Beautiful (of all gawd damn things) about NOT keeping up with the Jones'.  I realized that The Jones' might just have it all wrong.  So here I am trying to get what *I* want out of life, not what Corporate Big Cats say I want.  I wanted an SUV, and have wanted one since before they were all over the place...got the SUV (hooo hooo, do I love her, too!)  Now I would just like to have a nice piece of land out in the country, the house on said land just needs to be big enough for us and able to be expanded, if needed, later.  I don't want a big $400,000 house or a brand new or less than 10 years old house, nope, I just want a nice sized one to house my family.  And room for us to get a goat or Jackass (and no not my DH, a real-live Jackass/Donkey/Burrow/Mule one of those ugly ass things) and maybe a horse later on.  That is what I want.  I don't want my kids to have the newest most expensive Fisher-Price toys (I tried that for YEARS and honestly, neither of my kids enjoyed the new-fangled toys for longer than a week) And I don't want them to grow up around a subdivision crawling with little Jones' kids.  I just want to relax on a screen porch and listen to the crickets chirp in the summer, or open the backdoor and let my kids run wild out in a field. 

My SIL said that she "wants her kids to go to public school and live in a subdivision so that they'll have other kids to play with."  After stifling my laugher and pushing my debating side out of the way, I nodded in agreement and just simply said, "Nah, I don't a subdivision, I don't want neighbors, my kids can play with each other!" Then laughed and all was said and done.  Then I started thinking, SHOULD my kids be in a subdivision?  Well seeing as SIL is an idiot, probably not.  I don't worry about them growing up to be recluses or anything, if anything BT is ready to move out now.  But in order for us to live a simple life, growing ou own veggies and not having neighbors, I need money. I just feel like my time has started to run out and I don't have until I'm 35 to get my new home.  But then again, I might have to wait until I'm 35 at this rate.  Or I could be house-poor, which I've done before and it isn't all that bad but as one blogger said you don't have any money for the repairs that pop up, and they will pop up.

I guess I'm just trying to sort all my thoughts and feelings out and it's lovely that I can do it here.  Sorry for the long blog and jumpiness of it all, I'm beat and need a nap or a drink, one!

Believe it or not, I'm in that picture, somewhere beyond the light ("Come into the light Carol Ann..."  oh no, wait..)

Well now that the Xmas spirit is all shot to hell and back, let's blog about life in general..it's great!  I finally took one of my credit cards and cut it all to hell and back.  I'm paying it off next week and will be done with that silly mess.  The bank is a bunch of idiots who make me enter every number that I've ever had to remember in my life and press all the fucking buttons on the phone just to tell me my balance...and the balance is SMALL, so no more fucktards in that arena!   I'm terrified that this backwoods bank will fuck my credit all to hell and back, so in the trash it goes, in a bazillion little pieces.  I'll be calling them next week telling them to cancel the account and give them a check over the phone, or not..depends on how much the morons charge me. (wow that is the BEST paragraph for synonyms of stupid!)

Me, sis, DH, and StepDad's bro were standing on the porch enjoying our after dinner smoke when QM swings open the door looks at me in horror and exclaims "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!! PUT THAT OUT!!! WHEN DID YOU START SMOKING?!?!"  I answered, "Oh, about 1991 or 2."  She then looked over at DH and I'm thinking that I'm really about to get a good ass chewing when she shrieks, "DH!!!!!!!!!!!!" Ok, she said his name but it was in a tone of, 'I expected this from HER, but YOU!?!?!'  It was sweet, he got the brunt of her drunken wrath....she just turned and walked off, we haven't heard anything about it but I'm sure we will! LOL

And yes, I am almost 25, married, mortgage payments, car payment, 2 children, my own credit cards, all that grown up stuff, and yes I still fear my mother....I should have been Catholic!!

Shooting Down the Christmas Spirit

Ok, this is going to a be a petty bitchy post, but I must get this out of the way.  My SIL abso-fucking-lutely pisses me off.  You see she's a tad, ummm how do you say, S T U P I D!  She wrote us (DH and myself) a letter a while back and said something along the lines of, "You won't let me be Aunt K to your children, you never bring them to see me, or send me pictures, I've never seen a picture of LT except what Nana has received from you."  Well, you see this is the chick who *sometimes* buys them Xmas or Birthday gifts, but only when her Nana buys them and puts her name on them (SIL is 25, BTW).  She is SINGLE, no KIDS, and can come and see us easier than we to her. 
So she's not really in my kids' lives, well she hasn't made the effort.  I don't really mind family because I think that all families should at least TRY to get along, but when you don't even make a gawddamn effort to be an Aunt or Grandmother(MIL) then damnit all, I won't be trying to make that effort for you.  I will NOT do the work of explaining to my kids why Aunt K didn't get them gifts this year, but everyone else gave them gifts, and we even went to FL and saw the rotten whore.

So, this is where my true bitching comes in.  We go to FL and SIL brings over her digi-cam and starts taking a ton of pics of my kids, fine with me I just ask to be emailed the copies because she got a really cute one of LT, well she doesn't email me, like I knew she wouldn't.  So DH calls his dad yesterday and his dad says, "The best gift I got, and no it isn't the big screen TV." (That everyone went in on but failed to call and let us know about, SIL's work is all over that little thing).  His favorite gift was the framed picture that SIL gave him of MY KIDS!!!!!!! Hmmm let's see, she's not in their life, she doesn't even TRY to be and when we DID go over there she just sort of ignored the kids and me and just sat there being surly.  Yet she gives HER dad a picture of my kids???  See, if she even remotely acted like she liked us then the picture thing wouldn't be so bad, but it just doesn't make any sense to me.  And I'm sure that I shouldn't be pissed about it, but SIL is a tramp and underhanded at that.  She told me for YEARS how much she hated her father, then he got sick and she's the 'Daddy's-Little-Girl' victim in all this shit.  Now, she goes and sucks up to him using MY KIDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  My children did NOT have a gift from her under our tree, I sent the little witch a Christmas card, didn't even get THAT niceity out of her in return.  I have even gone so far as to send her a Christmas card every year, minus last year because well, she said how much she hated us. 

So now I'm being immature and stupid, but I REALLY just want to write her and tell her to just leave us the hell alone, she causes nothing but stress to us with her stupid antics and my kids aren't getting consistent messages from her.  My dear sister can be a flake at times but gawd damn almighty she at least is consistent and they get Xmas and birthday gifts, and she comes to their parties and sees them every Xmas, now granted she is just down the road, but ummmm the least SIL should do is sent a fucking card...even if it says "Merry Fucking Christmas you Sorry Bastards." I'd take it!!!  And when she sees them she could AT LEAST talk to them, they aren't like usual kids, they are SUPER polite to EVERYONE and very easy for adults to talk to (well BT anyway, LT doesn't talk much yet).  Besides, if the stupid whore hates us so much why does she manage to ALWAYS come around when we go down there?? She KNOWS that we're down there yet she still wants to come over and she invites us over for dinner (Which I will now turn down every invitation that she gives us, fuck her...I don't go where I'm not welcome, damn!).

Basically there is a L O N G history with her that is not very good...and she just keeps coming up with more and more shit to throw at us.  How do you give someone a gift of pictures that you took of SOMEONE ELSE'S kids yet don't send the KIDS' PARENTS a copy of the photos??????????? 

Ok, now that everyone thinks I'm petty and stupid I'll go and grab a diet coke and just feel better knowing that I got this all out in the open (with you all anyway) and I can feel better!

Christmas is over (thank gawd!) Winter is here, now let's see how your 'Mama' made out;

A ton of relaxing smelly stuff from DH and B (Aren't they GREAT?!)
A Turtle downspout thingy (goes under the gutter, how cool?!)
A turtle made entirely of Leather from QM (It's ugly but COOL AS HELL!)
A Jet-Spa bath mat thingy (It basically shoots water out into your bath, SUPER relaxing!)
A vacuum (don't ask, QM gave it to me )
A cool ass Photo Album from my step-grandmother (on QM's side)
Soundtrack to Ya-Ya Sisterhood
A car duster (DH knows how I am about my baby!)
A ton of Snowman stuff (I collect it, I'm getting old and shit)
A cool windchime from my Aunt
A cookbook from B Along with GC's to Longhorn, she's TOO MUCH!! (and getting a Happy New year Gift!)

Now, all that stuff is cool, I know, but...the COOLEST part was seeing BT's eyes when he thought that Santa had forgotten his pogo stick and he unwrapped;

Or when DH (having NO CLUE what I got him) Unwrapped;

And exclaimed, "OMG!! I LOVE IT, I wanted this!" (It was actually my second choice of what game to get him).

Then he unwrapped;

My FIRST choice, go HERE to read about it, O M G!!

And shouted, "OH MY GAWD!!! THIS IS THE GAME EVERYONE'S TALKING ABOUT ONLINE!!! HOLY SHIT!!!!!" 
It was SWEET!!!  I like making my honey happy, well most of the time anyway

And LT, well he was just happy to unwrap the boxes that had plagued him since we came back from FL!

Hope everyone had a GREAT Xmas!!!

Merry Christmas Eve to everyone!  Even if you don't celebrate Christmas, Merry Fucking Christmas Eve to you too now go enjoy all the idiots at the mall (watch from TV, it's MUCH more fun that way).

My 'Party' is tonight.  I've been using the word 'Gathering' because, well it is intimate, (as in I have no friends so no more than 6 people will be here at one time, if we're lucky) and being as we have kids, getting drunk and dancing naked with a lampshade on our heads probably shouldn't happen.  Now, I'm not saying that it *won't* happen, but it probably shouldn't...we're not planning on it anyway...What ARE we planning on?  We're planning on;

B (and her Dh and their 2 boys, they're such great little guys!)
Sis and her MAN
And possibly a guy from DH's office but we're not banking on it.
That's it!  Now if all my Xangans want to hop a plane and show up feel free, but you'll have to find it on your own...look under 'Turtle Mama' in the phonebook (it won't help but I'm curious if anyone really would do that?)

Now, for the good part; THE FOOD!!! Tonight's Menu will include:
Meat & Cheese Tray
Olive & Pickle Tray
Pigs in a Blanket (Homemade, thankyouverymuch)
Cheese Straws (Yep, from scratch..I'm cool, I know it)
Sausage Balls (Didn't know that sausage was male and had testicles didja?)
Shortbread Cookies (Again, homemade, yummmm they are G O O D!)
Chili-cheese Dip (Homemade Chili with velveeta melted in) 
Fritos Scoops (For the chili dip!)
Crackers (For the meat and cheese tray)

That's about it.  Nothing too exciting......Hope you're all salivating, or cringing (Because your beloved Turtlemama, 'Ms. Non-Mainstream' is a domestic GODDESS in disguise, I know.. I apologize...)

How fucking appropriate is THIS!?:

Which Sesame Street Muppet's Dark Secret Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

The Count's Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder It started with a simple affection for counting and the terror it induced in others, didn't it? But now it's turned into a full-blown life-consuming chaotic nightmare of order, repetition, zealousness, and perfectionism. You used to be so grand, but now you find yourself obsessively worrying over the littlest things--like, maybe if you don't check the light switch at least once every two minutes, the electricity will go out (and damnit, you're a vampire--that shouldn't be a problem!), or maybe if you don't wash your hands until your seams are coming out, you'll get some fatal disease. Get yourself some treatment.

ONLY 3 MORE DAYS UNTIL CHRISTMAS!